Why is it that so many writers are (or claim to be) at their best in the morning?
You've read the quote, or some variation of it: "I get up every morning at 4:30, scan the headlines, do a little research, then I write until about 8 a.m." Then there's the litany of holistic exercises to feed the creative soul -- going for a morning swim in the ocean, hiking the backcountry, taking a brisk walk or some other stress-reducing activity.
It's that kind of account of personal drive that contributed to my turn away from writing for a long time. I've never been that disciplined, and I figured that if I couldn't approach the craft like a 13th Century scribe locked up in a monastery then I obviously wasn't sufficiently serious about the craft.
But here's the thing -- it's not the time of day that matters. It's all about AAA -- anxiety, anger and adrenaline. For me to be at my creative best, I need to be stressed out by a fast-approaching deadline or so pent-up about one thing or another that I need to find a way to express myself.
That's why I've taken to my keyboard at this moment, near 5 o'clock in the afternoon -- because someone said something that triggered an emotional response in me. What was said is not important. In the greater scheme of things, it was trivial, actually. But it was enough to send me looking for a convenient place to express myself, so here I am.
Suppose, you may ask, that my emotional trigger had been fired at 5 a.m. rather than 5 p.m.? Wouldn't that inspire me to jump out of bed and fire up the laptop?
Nope. It would inspire me to roll over and go back to sleep.
Sleep has been an unfortunate response to emotional trauma for me over the years (unfortunate because it's ultimately counterproductive). When I come under severe stress, my whole being shuts down, mentally and physically. If there's a bed or a sofa nearby, that's where I'll take my refuge.
At the moment, though, taking refuge is slumber is not an option. So I'm indulging myself with a bit of rambling prose. It's an emotion-dump more than an effort to impart wisdom or be entertaining, so I apologize for being self-indulgent.
My purpose in blogging about this is really more for archival reasons that anything else. I'm hoping that writing about my mental process will, in the future, aid my writing process. Maybe I can look back someday and recapture this for something more creative. As for anyone else who might read this, well, I don't want to leave you hanging, so here's a takeaway for you:
The early bird catches the worm, but who wants worms?
